Something More
by siapom
Summary: CBPC April...sort of. Ok, not really. But, it's still my story. lol And on with the summary.... It always happens when I’m least expecting it. This feeling. It crashes over me and leaves behind a shaken core of nonfulfillment...


**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters, so I don't make, or expect to make, any money from these little forays into the BONES fandom. It's a sad fact, but true.

**The Challenge:** Little Moments – This challenge is about the little moments between the big plot points. These are the moments we don't see in the show, the little in-between times. You may use any characters within the show you please.

If you want to know more about the CBPC challenges, please visit bonesonfox over on LJ. We'd love to see you around. :-)

**A/N 1:** I vote that this story doesn't really count for judging since this was really supposed to be my month to judge. This thought just struck me, so I wrote it. I'm not even sure that it technically abides by the challenge itself, anyway. LOL

**A/N 2:** Please review and let me know what you think of this one. I normally don't write in the first person, so any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

**A/N 3:** Why in the hell didn't this idea strike me during the Desire challenge? Oy.

Something More

It always happens when I'm least expecting it. This feeling. It crashes over me and leaves behind a shaken core of non-fulfillment. I've been unable to pinpoint a reason for these sudden attacks, but they only happen around her. I just wish I knew why. So, as with every other puzzle that I face, I keep trying to analyze the situation. Where were we when it happened last? What was going on in the various aspects of work at the time? Was I working on a grueling case or a fascinating historical study? Had I maybe just gone without sleep or a solid meal for too long? The questions go on and on. But no matter how many questions I ask, or how many different ways in which I ask them, I still can't seem to find the answer. I'm not accustomed to not knowing the solution to a problem. So, until I find out, I know that irrational as it is, it's going to bother me.

However, I have discovered that there are benefits to all of this uncharacteristic introspection. I can honestly say that, overall, I'm very happy with my life. I have a job that is important and meaningful, more money than I know what to do with and my very own, hand-picked family. I'm successful and respected in multiple fields and areas of the world. I have even, for the most part, overcome the hardships of my past to be a well-rounded sort of woman who is contributing something meaningful to society. But I have to admit, if only to myself, that there are times when I wish that I had some of her qualities, too. I mean, I know how strange that sounds, what with me being…well, with me being me. But, I do. One moment I'll be fine, knowing what path my life is taking and where I want it to go next. Then, a tick of the clock later – bam! I'm suddenly longing for these fragile, indefinable and relatively inconsequential aspects of someone else's life with such force that it causes my chest to physically ache. It brings tears to my eyes to feel this suddenly gaping hole in the overall tapestry which represents my life. A life that, until recently, I thought I was content to keep unchanged for some time to come.

I'm not even able to define exactly what it is that I suddenly feel is missing. It's hard for me to understand and even harder to explain; but, there are these sudden moments, like just now, when I see her genius and incredible talent, and I wish for…_something._ Which, when the attack passes, I realize is rather ridiculous, because I already have more than most other people in the world. That's a simple fact. Having traveled all over the globe, I've seen the poor and the suffering. I've seen those left without love or friendship or even hope. I have _all_ of those things – at least, in one form or another. But, in those brief, but infinitely long moments, I feel as though all that I have is worth nothing without…something_ more. _Something that I can't describe. I just know that whatever it is, it's something that I am unable to call my own. And, I want it. I just wish I knew what _it_ was so that I could do the necessary research and then work to achieve it.

The really hard part is that she is the person I would normally talk to about something like this. But, since it seems to revolve around her, I find myself uncomfortable approaching the subject. So, for now, I've been keeping it to myself. But, I have this unshakeable feeling that this is the type of problem that I won't be able to solve on my own.

"There you are! Bones, where have you been? I've been looking for you for over 15 minutes!"

I turn to face my partner and friend. _Maybe… _"I've been looking over Angela's new exhibit. She's outdone herself." I point to her most recent painting and watch as he focuses his attention on the swirling maelstrom of color that somehow seems to sing with pure emotion. His eyes widen as they dart over each distinctive section of the work.

"Wow."

I turn back to take another look. "I know."

We stand there, side by side, for a few minutes before I finally remember that he'd been searching for me. "What had you wanted?"

When he shakes his head and answers with only a mumbled, "Huh?," I realize that he was as moved by the painting as I. With a smile of amusement I poke him in the arm to get his full attention. "You said you were looking for me. What did you want?"

With a self-depreciating shrug, he tears his eyes from Angela's masterpiece to look at me. He then rushes through his explanation as though afraid I'll try to stop him. "Oh. I just wanted to see if you maybe wanted to go get something to eat. I hear you've been putting in some long hours this week and thought you might be willing to take a break and maybe get some fresh air."

I see his sincere concern and find myself nodding before I've made the conscious decision to do so. He smiles and slowly turns toward the arched doorway, pausing just for a moment to cast one last look at the painting. "It really is amazing."

"I know." I then feel him touch my elbow lightly and start to move with him from the exhibit hall. As we leave, I can almost feel a slight mental push from behind and glance at the man walking beside me. "Booth, when we get to wherever it is that we're going, would you mind if I talk to you about something? I think that maybe you could help me with a puzzle I've been trying to solve."


End file.
